Though we do not have any human babies yet, our lives have definitely been taken over by one sweet, adorable, stubborn baby of the four legged variety. If you have somehow managed to miss our barrage of social media posts over the last year pertaining to our dog, you have obviously been living under a rock and/or in a coma.
Mia Jane is our beautiful 3 year old boxer, who tips the scales at a whopping 60 pounds. The first 2 questions that everyone asks about her are 1.) Is she part great dane?, and when we tell them she is purebred boxer the next question/comment is always, 2.) Is she big for a boxer? She seems big for a boxer. As Ryan lovingly says, "She's a big, fine girl!"
While Mia is many things, the brightest crayon in the box she is not. I once remember my sister Tammy saying to her then 4 year old, "Jeremy, please don't put the dog's tail in your mouth.", and then immediately saying to me, "I have a whole list of things I never thought I'd say before I became a parent." While having nieces and nephews has partially prepared me for the list of things I will one day utter to my children, I was not prepared to verbalize any of the following commands to my aforementioned (sweet, but not particularly sharp) dog:
* It's just a leaf, Mia, not a murderer.
* No, no - we don't lick mom's eyeball.
* Mia, please don't eat the dirt I just piled with the broom.
* It's just a reflection, Mia, not a murderer.
* You have 3 water bowls - please stop drinking out of my glass.
* If I see that bone in my plant/clean laundry/shoe one more time, it's mine!
* You have 2 beds and 6 blankets - please stop pulling my blanket off of me at 3am.
* (As she is literally choking on her food): Take a breath!
* It's just a balloon, Mia, not a murderer.
* And my personal favorite: Ladies don't lick their own butts, Mia Girl.
It's a good thing she's pretty!!
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