Today has not been awesome so far.
At 3:30am, I was wide awake. I tossed and turned for a while in vain, but that just woke Ryan and the dog up along with me. So at 4am, I cut my losses and moved to the couch for 4 hours of trying to be quiet while also being the only one awake. At 5:30am, I couldn't wait anymore and needed cereal. Have you ever tried to pour cereal quietly? Not possible. I thought pouring the milk first was brilliant and would cushion the sound of Frosted Flakes hitting hard plastic. My plan may have worked, had I hit the bowl with the cereal instead of the kitchen floor. Our house is tiny, and turning on the kitchen light would have definitely woken the rest of the crew, so I was trying to pour said cereal in the dark, and completely missed the bowl and the counter.
Mia heard the music to her ears of spilled food, and came running out to help me clean up. I let her eat every single piece, and she promptly went into the living room, let out an over exaggerated yawn, and collapsed onto a pile of blankets. My intended breakfast was just an early morning snack to her. Deciding to just wait until everyone else was up, I occupied myself by playing games on my phone, reading every online news story I saw, and texting my favorite insomnia buddy.
Minutes before Ryan's alarm went off, my body decided it would be a perfect time to go back to sleep, because insomnia is a jerk. I snoozed until it was time for him to head out, and then it was my turn to get up, take care of Mia, and get ready for the day.
At 10pm last night, I decided that I needed to buy microwave popcorn and m&m's, and after my cereal fiasco, this salty and sweet combo sounded like the perfect breakfast. M&M's swimming in a bowl of buttery and perfectly popped corn, I poured myself a large glass of Caffeine Free (read: broken) Diet Mountain Dew, and settled in to try to peel my eyes open. Yes, I know that chocolate has caffeine in it. No, I do not care.
About two minutes into my long awaited meal, Mia came running in from her breakfast, and immediately got sick...ON ME. Which led to me getting sick, though I was nice and ran for the bathroom instead of poetically repaying the favor. Fabulous start.
Once we were both feeling better, we returned to the couch and I plopped down. The girth of my rear end knocked over my very cold glass of soda, drenching me, the couch, and the dog. In a move that left me both confused and amazed, I realized that somehow, 3 of the 4 ice cubes had lodged themselves in my underwear!!! That's one way to wake up without caffeine, I guess. Unpleasant, but effective.
Changed, cold, and still starving, I returned and dug into my popcorn. Watching those sad, sick puppy dog eyes watch each bite I took tugged at my heart strings, and against my better judgment, I shared a couple of pieces with Mia. Have you ever seen those videos of dogs who are terrible at catching things? Our dog should have her own YouTube channel of nothing but missing things thrown at her. On literally the third piece of popcorn I shared with her, I watched it fly through the air, touch her tongue, and bounce back into my bowl.
And that, my friends, is how I ended up eating half of a bag of m&m's for breakfast.
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