“A great spouse loves you exactly as you are. An extraordinary spouse helps you grow; inspires you to be, do, and give your very best.” - Fawn Weaver
'Exactly' is a word that carries big meaning. Really big meaning. There is a small list of people in this world who I love more than words can explain and who I would do just about anything for, and an even smaller list of those who I love exactly how they are.
I was blessed with a husband who has profoundly modeled what it means to love someone exactly how they are since the moment we began a relationship. Ryan and I are two very different people, with very different personalities, habits, strengths, weaknesses, and sometimes even very different beliefs.
As many of you reading this already know, I have worked for Planned Parenthood for the past two and a half years. And for those of you who didn't know, the secret is out. Not only have I simply been employed for Planned Parenthood, but I have been a very proud employee. And as many of you also know, Ryan works for a church, and is also very proud of his work, as he should be.
A constant dichotomy, our relationship has been built around the many differences I referenced earlier. As my very politically conservative father has labeled me, I am his 'little left winger' who very strongly supports most liberal causes and beliefs. And while neither of us like to be pigeon-holed into either political party or set of beliefs, Ryan is generally more conservative than I am.
So how do a church employee and a Planned Parenthood employee make it work? By loving each other exactly how we are. In fact, Ryan deserves a lot more credit than I do for me being the kind of person who proudly proclaims what I do for a living. For a long time, I let the bullying of those who believe differently than me silence my voice. When asked what I did for a living, I would give a vague 'I work in non-profit' answer, and when pressed about which non-profit, my second answer was 'a health organization', forcing the inquisitive person to ask three, four, sometimes five follow-up questions before I would quietly whisper the name of the organization that I loved being a part of, as if it was something to be embarrassed about. And while the easy conclusion to come to was that I was ashamed to work for Planned Parenthood, the real answer is that I was ashamed that I couldn't find it in myself to loudly and confidently say that I worked for a really great organization that I believe in; one that helps countless people on a daily basis. Planned Parenthood brought me to Iowa, brought me to Cedar Rapids, and brought me to my soul mate. They've treated me very well and have opened countless doors for me, and I couldn't bring myself to say their name out loud.
I somehow thought that because of Ryan's position in the church, I needed to keep quiet about my career. Because the truth of the matter is that my career could very possibly affect his career. I've had people stop being my friend when I took the position, I've had strangers scream horrible things at me on a daily basis as I walked through the front doors of the clinic where my office is located, and I've had family members lie to others about where I work in order to protect themselves from judgment. I was terrified that my husband would suffer the same kind of treatment, so I kept quiet. Thankfully, we belong to a church body who for the most part has welcomed me with open arms, and who have never made Ryan choose between the two of us.
Even more thankfully, I have a spouse who has loved me exactly as I am and has 'helped me grow; inspired me to be, do, and give my very best' in all that I do. He has never agreed 100% with what Planned Parenthood believes in, but he has always 100% stood by me. And he has always encouraged me to stand up for what I believe in and to proudly tell everyone who asks what I do for a living. He has inspired me to find my voice, and more than once, has been my voice. Literally. I remember leaving an introduction where I had given my boxed answers to the questions about my job until the new acquaintance kindly dropped the subject, and as we left Ryan asked me why I wouldn't tell the person where I worked. I listed for him all of the reasons that I listed here, and the next time someone asked me what I did for a living and I dodged the question, my husband cut in with, "She's a fundraiser for Planned Parenthood, and she's awesome at it. I couldn't be more proud of her."
I love that man for more reasons than I can count and certainly more than you care to listen to, but few stand out to me more than that kind of unconditional love and support. It's that same love and support that has led me accept a new position with St. Luke's hospital as their lead fundraiser, beginning the middle of next month.
It was incredibly important to me to announce this big change in this way because my decision to pursue this new opportunity was based solely on the opportunity to make a better life for my family, and in no way reflects the way I feel about Planned Parenthood. I am as proud as I've ever been to say that I was a very small piece of the puzzle that serves over 3,000 patients in my community every year. I'm proud to say that I will always be a supporter. I'm proud to say that I am excited to become a part of the St. Luke's team. And most of all, I'm proud to have an extraordinary spouse.
'Exactly' is a word that carries big meaning. Really big meaning. There is a small list of people in this world who I love more than words can explain and who I would do just about anything for, and an even smaller list of those who I love exactly how they are.
I was blessed with a husband who has profoundly modeled what it means to love someone exactly how they are since the moment we began a relationship. Ryan and I are two very different people, with very different personalities, habits, strengths, weaknesses, and sometimes even very different beliefs.
As many of you reading this already know, I have worked for Planned Parenthood for the past two and a half years. And for those of you who didn't know, the secret is out. Not only have I simply been employed for Planned Parenthood, but I have been a very proud employee. And as many of you also know, Ryan works for a church, and is also very proud of his work, as he should be.
A constant dichotomy, our relationship has been built around the many differences I referenced earlier. As my very politically conservative father has labeled me, I am his 'little left winger' who very strongly supports most liberal causes and beliefs. And while neither of us like to be pigeon-holed into either political party or set of beliefs, Ryan is generally more conservative than I am.
So how do a church employee and a Planned Parenthood employee make it work? By loving each other exactly how we are. In fact, Ryan deserves a lot more credit than I do for me being the kind of person who proudly proclaims what I do for a living. For a long time, I let the bullying of those who believe differently than me silence my voice. When asked what I did for a living, I would give a vague 'I work in non-profit' answer, and when pressed about which non-profit, my second answer was 'a health organization', forcing the inquisitive person to ask three, four, sometimes five follow-up questions before I would quietly whisper the name of the organization that I loved being a part of, as if it was something to be embarrassed about. And while the easy conclusion to come to was that I was ashamed to work for Planned Parenthood, the real answer is that I was ashamed that I couldn't find it in myself to loudly and confidently say that I worked for a really great organization that I believe in; one that helps countless people on a daily basis. Planned Parenthood brought me to Iowa, brought me to Cedar Rapids, and brought me to my soul mate. They've treated me very well and have opened countless doors for me, and I couldn't bring myself to say their name out loud.
I somehow thought that because of Ryan's position in the church, I needed to keep quiet about my career. Because the truth of the matter is that my career could very possibly affect his career. I've had people stop being my friend when I took the position, I've had strangers scream horrible things at me on a daily basis as I walked through the front doors of the clinic where my office is located, and I've had family members lie to others about where I work in order to protect themselves from judgment. I was terrified that my husband would suffer the same kind of treatment, so I kept quiet. Thankfully, we belong to a church body who for the most part has welcomed me with open arms, and who have never made Ryan choose between the two of us.
Even more thankfully, I have a spouse who has loved me exactly as I am and has 'helped me grow; inspired me to be, do, and give my very best' in all that I do. He has never agreed 100% with what Planned Parenthood believes in, but he has always 100% stood by me. And he has always encouraged me to stand up for what I believe in and to proudly tell everyone who asks what I do for a living. He has inspired me to find my voice, and more than once, has been my voice. Literally. I remember leaving an introduction where I had given my boxed answers to the questions about my job until the new acquaintance kindly dropped the subject, and as we left Ryan asked me why I wouldn't tell the person where I worked. I listed for him all of the reasons that I listed here, and the next time someone asked me what I did for a living and I dodged the question, my husband cut in with, "She's a fundraiser for Planned Parenthood, and she's awesome at it. I couldn't be more proud of her."
I love that man for more reasons than I can count and certainly more than you care to listen to, but few stand out to me more than that kind of unconditional love and support. It's that same love and support that has led me accept a new position with St. Luke's hospital as their lead fundraiser, beginning the middle of next month.
It was incredibly important to me to announce this big change in this way because my decision to pursue this new opportunity was based solely on the opportunity to make a better life for my family, and in no way reflects the way I feel about Planned Parenthood. I am as proud as I've ever been to say that I was a very small piece of the puzzle that serves over 3,000 patients in my community every year. I'm proud to say that I will always be a supporter. I'm proud to say that I am excited to become a part of the St. Luke's team. And most of all, I'm proud to have an extraordinary spouse.
