As Ryan and I celebrate our first two months of
marital bliss, I have realized that we have learned a
lot in the last 60 days. Some of the lessons I
expected, and others I
was not prepared for. At all. So I am taking matters into my own hands and
doing my due diligence to put out there the things that you need to be prepared
for when entering into a lifelong union:
Lesson #1: He Lives Here Now
I have lived completely by myself since I was 21. No roommate, no extended guests, boyfriends didn't even get to know where I lived. My house was my sanctuary, and no one else's. Mine. So it was completely out of character when I told Ryan my address prior to our first date, and even more out of character when I allowed us to spend so much time at my place. Over the months of dating, there were several times that I would go to bed while Ryan was in the middle of a movie, so I would tell him goodnight and that he could stay as long as he wanted, just be sure to lock the door on his way out. So I didn't think anything of repeating my night time routine the week after we got married - I got tired, told him I was going to bed, and asked him to lock the door on his way out. To which he responded with "We're married. I live here now. I'm not leaving tonight." Oh yeah.
Lesson #2: All Is Fair In Love And Sleep
In a similar event, I went to bed much earlier than my night owl husband one night and angrily awoke several hours later at the realization that I was on his side of the bed. I immediately thought "He took my side of the bed?! My pillows?! My spare blankets that I keep under the bed for when he tries to freeze me out?" I was fuming and thisclose to waking him up to demand that he give me back my rightful place when I realized that not only had I come to bed first, but I was sleeping diagonal and my 6' tall husband was curled up into the tiniest ball he could get himself into while his legs dangled to the floor because that's all the room I had left for him. Oops! That may or may not have also been the night that I slapped him in the face in my sleep and then started to rub his facial hair. He's a trooper. Don't feel too sorry for him, though...he got his revenge a few weeks later when I didn't feel well and sat up in bed with my head in my hands and he, in a dead sleep, kneed me in the FACE as he rolled over. Pretty sure we're even.
Lesson #3: Not Everyone Lives According To My Schedule
I was completely unaware that not everyone loves to get up and start cleaning first thing on Saturday morning every week. Saturday is one of the few days that I awake earlier than Ryan, so by the time he comes out to the living room I'm usually done with the dishes and starting to dust. It came as a complete surprise to me one day after 3 hours of deep cleaning when I said to him, "Ahhh. Doesn't cleaning make you SO happy?" and he answered with, "Ummm. It makes me tired."
Lesson #4: He Cooks After We Argue
In the first two months of marriage, we've also had our first two arguments. And the sick and twisted part of me is kind of happy about it. We hadn't really even had heated conversations before we were married, let alone an argument, and it was a huge relief when we did and worked through it like mature adults. That's completely new to me. And while the satisfaction of having worked through something together is a high all on it's own, it's nothing compared to the dinner he makes you afterward. I devoured the best cheese lasagna and garlic bread of my life one night thanks to a morning spat that was fixed before I even left for work. Still not sure how I managed that one, but I'm gonna go with it.
Lesson #5: Marriage Really Is Work. And It's
Totally Worth It.
The last 60 days have been a giant learning curve. We have both been thrown into our first time living together, sharing finances, figuring out schedules, division of household duties, expectations of the other spouse, daily habits, and what it means to truly be a partner 24/7. At times it is stressful, but most of the time it is the easiest and most fulfilling adventure I've ever been on. This road has bumps for both of us, but those bumps are SO worth the ride. Also, the lasagna. If you haven't already, I highly recommend that you marry someone who can make good lasagna.
The last 60 days have been a giant learning curve. We have both been thrown into our first time living together, sharing finances, figuring out schedules, division of household duties, expectations of the other spouse, daily habits, and what it means to truly be a partner 24/7. At times it is stressful, but most of the time it is the easiest and most fulfilling adventure I've ever been on. This road has bumps for both of us, but those bumps are SO worth the ride. Also, the lasagna. If you haven't already, I highly recommend that you marry someone who can make good lasagna.
